Weather Jokes        RSS 2.0

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• Bad Weather

  4 February 2008, by Editor

  A guy goes fishing every Saturday morning. He gets up early and eager, makes his lunch, hooks up his boat and off he goes, all day long.

  Well, one Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs the dog and goes to the garage to hook up his boat to the truck and down the driveway he goes.

  As he is coming out of his garage rain is pouring down; it is like a torrential downpour. There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 mph. Minutes later, he returns to the garage.

  He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel. He finds it’s going to be bad weather all day long, so he puts his boat back in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed.

  There he cuddles up to his wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispers,"The weather out there is terrible."

  To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit?"

• The Snowy Weather

  4 February 2008, by Editor

  This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.

  What happens when you predict snow but don’t get any... a true story...

  We had a female news anchor, who the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn’t, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where’s that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did also!

  They were laughing so hard!

• Indian Weather Prediction

  4 February 2008, by Editor

  It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild.

  Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets, and when he looked at the sky, he couldn’t tell what the heck the weather was going to be.

  Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood so they would be prepared for it.

  But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea.

  He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"

  "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the Meteorologist at the weather service responded.

  So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared.

  One week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" he asked.

  "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it’s going to be a very cold winter."

  The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

  Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again.

  "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

  "Absolutely," the man replied. "It looks like it’s going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

  "How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

  The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."

• Snow Joke For Christmas Criminals

  4 February 2008, by Editor

  Two thieves who went on a Christmas crime wave were arrested after their footprints in the fresh snow led the cops from the scene of the crime to the front door of the criminals’ abode.

  The abundance of snow falling in Germany this winter has proved tricky for many Germans, including a pair of thieves who went on a Christmas crime spree in the town of Höntrop.

  Police checking on a car alarm sounding off in the dead of night were surprised by their stroke of good fortune when they discovered that beneath the smashed window through which the thieves had grabbed their loot, two sets of fresh footprints led away from the scene of the crime.

  The cops could not believe their luck and followed the footprints through the streets of the town for several kilometers until the trail went cold.

  "At one point the tracks disappeared because someone had cleared the pavement outside their home in the middle of the night," a police official said in a statement.

  Footprints led to thieves’ front door

  Bildunterschrift: Großansicht des Bildes mit der Bildunterschrift: "Where do they keep the snowshoes?"

  However, it wasn’t long before the trail was located again and the police officers were in hot — or more likely, freezing cold — pursuit once more. The footprints led the cops directly to the entrance of a flat where the burglars not only stored their booty but also left their shoes and gloves to dry.

  The two men were arrested and charged on suspicion of being involved in thefts from 15 cars and two garden sheds.