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• Top 10 Reasons for Being an American

  3 September 2007, by Editor
  1. You can have a woman president without electing her
  2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.
  3. You can call Budweiser beer
  4. You can be a crook and still be a president
  5. If you’ve got enough money you can get elected to do anything
  6. If you can breathe you can get a gun
  7. get to be really obese
  8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes and nobody cares
  9. You get to call everyone you’ve never met ’buddy’
  10. You can think you’re the greatest nation on earth when you are not at all

• Top 10 Things Not to Say to a Father When Picking Up His Daughter for a Date

  3 September 2007, by Editor
  1. "Now.. show me how you used to spank her."
  2. "Do you think she would put out if I told her that I loved her?"
  3. "I just got my license today."
  4. "Five bucks says she’s a D-cup."
  5. "You taught her to swallow, didn’t you?"
  6. "So, does your wife just lay there during sex too?"
  7. "Hi. I’m Robert, but my friends call me ’Back Door Bob.’"
  8. "I believe being sexually active since I was 12 has helped me mature."
  9. "Please come inside? Wow, you sound just like your daughter."
  10. "I feel like we both have something in common, she calls ME daddy too!"

• Top 10 Blonde FAQs

  3 September 2007, by Editor
  1. Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you? A: Tell her she’s pregnant.
  2. Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it.
  3. Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
  4. Q: Why don’t blondes eat bananas? A: They can’t find the zipper.
  5. Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts? A: Tits go in front.
  6. Q: Why do blondes like lightning? A: They think someone is taking their picture.
  7. Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde? A: There is a stamp on it.
  8. Q: Why don’t blondes talk when having sex? A: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.
  9. Q: How do you drown a blond? A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
  10. Q: Why do blondes hate M&Ms? A: They’re too hard to peel.

• Top Ten Ways to Tell Someone Their Fly is Unzipped...

  3 September 2007, by Editor
  1. The cucumber has left the salad.
  2. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is hanging out.
  3. Your soldier ain’t so unknown now.
  4. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.
  5. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!
  6. Mini Me is making a break for the escape pod.
  7. You’ve got your fly set for "Monica" instead of "Hillary".
  8. You’ve got a security breach at Los Pantalones.
  9. I’m talking about Shaft, can you dig it?
  10. Men are From Mars, women can see Your Penis