Thanksgiving Jokes        RSS 2.0

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• A Blonde’s Thanksgiving Dinner

  26 November 2007, by Editor

  It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.

  "Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter.

  "Did it not taste good?" her mother asked.

  "I don’t know," the blonde said. "It wouldn’t sit still!"

• Thanksgiving in the UK

  26 November 2007, by Editor

  A few years ago, an American and a British journalist were discussing Thanksgiving on a British radio program. The American asked if Thanksgiving was celebrated in the UK.

  "Yes," the British journalist replied, "but we celebrate it on the 6th of September."

  "Why then?"

  "That’s when you chaps left."

• 10 Things That Sound Dirty At Thanksgiving, but Aren’t...

  26 November 2007, by Editor

  10. "Just reach in and grab the giblets."

  9. "Whew...that’s one terrific spread!"

  8. "I am in the mood for a little dark meat!"

  7. "Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."

  6. "Talk about a HUGE breast!"

  5. "And he forces his way into the end zone!"

  4. "She’s 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."

  3. "It’s cool whip time!"

  2. "If I don’t unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!"

  1. "It must be broken ’cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out."

• Thanksgiving Fart

  26 November 2007, by Editor

  Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work.

  Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, "One of these days, you’re gonna fart your guts out!"

  One Thanksgiving morning, Martha is preparing the turkey and gets an idea. Before her husband gets up, she creeps upstairs and places the turkey innards in his pajama bottoms, giggling to herself.

  Well, later that morning, Bob wakes up and goes through his morning ritual. He screams as he goes running into the bathroom. Martha laughs, but is concerned after noticing that Bob has been in the bathroom for almost an hour.

  She runs upstairs, and is about to knock on the door, when Bob opens up, pale as a ghost. He says, "You were right. You were right. I did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God and these two fingers I got them back up there again."