School Jokes        RSS 2.0

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• A lesson about blood flow and circulation

  10 December 2007, by Editor

  A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."

  "Yes, sir," the boys said.

  "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?"

  A little fellow shouted, "’It’s because yer feet ain’t empty."

• A lecture about English

  10 December 2007, by Editor

  A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day.

  "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

  A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

• Science Class

  10 December 2007, by Editor

  Sixth grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, "Which human body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?"

  No one answered until little Molly stood up, angry, and said, "You should not be asking 6th graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, and you’ll get fired!" She then sat back down.

  Mrs. Parks ignored her, and asked the Question again, "Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated??

  Little Molly’s mouth fell open, and she said to those around her, "Boy, is she gonna get in big trouble!"

  The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, "Anybody?"

  Finally, Jimmy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, "The body part that increases to 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye."

  Mrs. Parks said, "Very good, Jimmy." Then turned to Molly and continued, "As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: First, you have a dirty mind. Second, you didn’t read your homework. And third, one day you are going to be VERY VERY disappointed!

• Late for school

  10 December 2007, by Editor

  Mother: Come on, Victor, you have to get out of bed or you’ll be late for school.

  Victor: Aw, Mum do I have to? All the teachers pick on me, and all the kids hate me too.

  Mother: Yes you do.

  Victor: Give me a good reason

  Mother: You’re 34 and you’re the Head Master!