Restaurant Jokes        RSS 2.0

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• Air Conditioning

  21 January 2008, by Editor

  A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he’d asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.

  Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walking back and forth and never once getting angry. So finally, a second customer asked why didn’t they just throw out the pest.

  "Oh I don’t care." said the waiter with a smile. "We don’t even have an air conditioner."

• The Hot Chile

  21 January 2008, by Editor

  The guy sits down in a Cafe’ and asks for the hot chile.

  The waitress says, "The guy next to you got the last bowl."

  He looks over and sees that the guy’s finished his meal, but the chili bowl is still full.

  He says, "Are you going to eat that?"

  The other guy says, "No. Help yourself."

  He takes it and starts to eat it. When he gets about half way down, his fork hits something. He looks down sees a dead mouse in it, and he pukes! the chili back into the bowl.

  The other guy says, "That’s about as far as I got, too."

• A Cheap Dinner

  21 January 2008, by Editor

  A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The barman charges him 15 cents. Confused, but not complaining, the man pays.

  After a while he decides to have another, and some food, so he orders another beer and a steak. The barman charges him 50 cents, 15 for the beer and 35 for the food.

  After finishing his food and drink, he calls the barman over and says, "Mate, that was the best steak I’ve ever had. I want to talk to the manager and thank him."

  "No problem," says the barman. "He’s upstairs with my wife."

  "What’s he doing upstairs with your wife?" asks the man.

  "Probably the same thing I’m doing to his business down here!"

• The Breakfast Order

  21 January 2008, by Editor

  A man arrives at the breakfast room in the hotel at which he is staying and calls over the head waiter.

  "I believe that this morning I would like two boiled eggs — one of them so undercooked it’s runny, and the other so overcooked it’s tough and hard to eat. Also, grilled bacon that has been left out so it’s a bit cold; burnt toast that crumbles away as soon as you touch it with a knife; butter straight from the deep freeze so that it’s impossible to spread; and a pot of very weak, lukewarm coffee."

  "That’s a complicated order sir," said the bewhildered waiter. "It might be quite difficult."

  The guest replied, "Oh? I don’t understand - that’s what I got here yesterday!"

• Ketchup

  21 January 2008, by Editor

  A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind.

  The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, "Ketchup!"