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• Social Security

  31 March 2008, by Editor

  A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security.

  The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver’s license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home. "I will have to go home and come back later." The woman says, "Unbutton your shirt." So he opens his shirt revealing curly silver hair. She says, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed his Social Security application.

  When he gets home, the man excitedly tells his wife about his experience at the social security office. She says, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability too."

• Second Opinion

  31 March 2008, by Editor

  A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and calls home.

  She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"

  She says, "I was in bed."

  "In bed this early, doing what?" Shouts the doctor.

  "Getting a second opinion!"

• The Guardian Angel

  31 March 2008, by Editor

  A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you." The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.

  He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road. Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die." The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.

  "Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"

  "I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.

  "Oh yeah?" the man asked. "And where the hell were you when I got married?"

• She Faked It

  31 March 2008, by Editor

  One evening, Prince Charming walked into a tavern appearing downtrodden. Immediately, the bartender turned to Prince Charming and asked him why he’s so glum.

  "You wouldn’t believe it," the Prince replied. "I was walking through the Enchanted Forest when suddenly I approached Snow White, fast asleep on a bed of stone. The dwarf next to her told me that she had eaten a poisonous apple and could only be revived through a kiss from my very lips. I gave her a peck on the cheek. Nothing. So I give Snow White a real deep kiss while massaging her hair with my fingers. Nothing. Soon enough, I’m making passionate love to her right there in the woods, when suddenly she screams out, ’Ah yes’!"

  "That’s great!" the bartender excitedly replied to Prince Charming. "Then she is alive!"

  Shrugging his shoulders Prince Charming replied, "Nah. She faked it."