Relationship Jokes        RSS 2.0

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• Double for Mother-in-Law

  3 March 2008, by Editor

  A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can have whatever he wants, provided that his mother-in-law gets double.

  The man thinks for a moment and then says, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death."

• Guessing

  3 March 2008, by Editor

  Once there was a family who was given some venison by a friend. The wife cooked up the deer steaks, and served it to the husband and children. The husband thought it would be fun to have the children guess what it was that they were eating.

  "Is is beef?" The daughter Katie asked.

  "Nope."

  "Is it pork?" the son Willie asked.

  "Nope."

  "Heck, we don’t know, Dad!" Willie exclaimed.

  "I’ll give you a clue," the Dad said, "It’s what your mom sometimes calls me."

  "Spit it out, Willie!" cried Katie, "We’re eating Asshole!!"

• To Feel Like A Woman

  3 March 2008, by Editor

  On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.

  Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I’m too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable! I’ve had plenty of relationships in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I’ve had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"

  For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril and they all stare riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

  Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane. "I can make you feel like a woman," he says.

  He’s gorgeous. Tall, built, with flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves. The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches.

  He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers:

  "Iron this."

• The Fruits of Love

  3 March 2008, by Editor

  A newlywed couple were spending their honeymoon in a remote log cabin resort way up the mountains. They had registered on Saturday and they had not been seen for 5 days. An elderly couple ran the resort, and they were getting concerned about the welfare of these newlyweds.

  The old man decided to go and see if they were all right. He knocked on the door of the cabin and a weak voice from inside answered. The old man asked if they were OK. "Yes, we’re fine. We’re living on the fruits of love".

  The old man replied, "I thought so...would you mind not throwing the peelings out the window...they’re choking my ducks!"