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• The New Number

  21 January 2008, by Editor

  After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend’s new telephone number, I dialed him and got a woman. "Is Robert there?" I asked. "He’s in the shower," she responded. "Please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and hung up.

  When he didn’t return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. "This is Robert," he said.

  "You’re not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed.

  "I know," he replied. "That’s what I’ve been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."

• A Very Busy Lawyer

  21 January 2008, by Editor

  Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school. He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town. He really wanted to impress everyone. He opened his new law office, but business was very slow at first.

  One day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived. As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking. "No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won’t settle this case for less than one million. Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I’ll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support. Okay. Tell the DA that I’ll meet with him next week to discuss the details. "

  This sort of thing went on for almost five minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled instructions. Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man. "I’m sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I’m very busy. What can I do for you?"

  The man replied, "I’m from the phone company. I came to hook up your phone."

• The Barking Dog

  21 January 2008, by Editor

  Bernard, who is noted for his gracious manners, was awakened one morning at 4:44 A.M. by his ringing telephone.

  "Your dog’s barking, and it’s keeping me awake," said an angry voice.

  Bernard thanked the caller and politely asked his name and number before hanging up.

  The next morning at precisely 4:44 A.M., Bernard called his neighbor back.

  "Good morning, Mr. Williams. Just called to say that I don’t have a dog."

• A Conversation

  21 January 2008, by Editor

  Leaving Minnesota for Colorado, I decide to make a stop at one of those rest areas on the side of the road. I go in the washroom. The first stall was taken so I went in the second stall. I just sat down when I hear a voice from the next stall...

   "Hi there, how is it going?"

  Okay, I am not the type to strike conversations with strangers in washrooms on the side of the road. I didn’t know what to say so finally I say:

   "Not bad..."

  Then the voice says:

   "So, what are you doing?"

  I am starting to find that a bit weird, but I say:

   "Well, I’m going back to Colorado..."

  Then I hear the person say all flustered:

   "Look I’ll call you back, every time I ask you a question this idiot in the next stall keeps answering me."