Dating Jokes        RSS 2.0

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• Mispronunciation

  26 May 2008, by Editor

  A young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored. "What would you like to do next?" he asked.

  "I wanna get weighed," she said. So the young man took her over to the weight guesser. "One-twelve," said the man at the scale, and he was absolutely right.

  Next they rode the roller coaster. After that, he bought her some popcorn and cotton candy, then he asked what else she would like to do. "I wanna get weighed," she said. He really latched onto a square one tonight, thought the young man, and using the excuse he had developed a headache, he took the girl home.

  The girl’s mother was surprised to see her home so early, and asked, "What’s wrong, dear, didn’t you have a nice time tonight?" "Wousy," said the girl.

• Good Girls vs Bad Girls

  26 May 2008, by Editor
  • Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot
    • Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons

  • Good girls wax their floors
    • Bad girls wax their bikini line

  • Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies
    • Bad girls know they could do it better

  • Good girls wear white cotton panties
    • Bad girls don’t wear any

  • Good girls think they’re not fully dressed without a strand of pearls
    • Bad girls think they’re fully dressed with just a strand of pearls

  • Good girls pack their toothbrush
    • Bad girls pack their diaphragms

  • Good girls own only one credit card and rarely use it
    • Bad girls own only one bra and rarely use it

  • Good girls wear high heels to work
    • Bad girls wear high heels to bed

  • Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance
    • Bad girls think no place is the wrong place

  • Good girls prefer the missionary position
    • Bad girls do to, but only for starters

  • Good girls say no
    • Bad girls say when?

  • Good girls go to the party, go home, then go to bed.
    • Bad girls go to the party, go to bed and then go home.

• Cold Hands

  26 May 2008, by Editor

  Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. After bringing in all the luggage, the guy says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!"

  She says "Well put them between my legs and I will warm them up."

  Later he goes out to catch a few fish for lunch and comes back and says again, "Man! My hands are really freezing!"

  She says again, "Well put them between my legs and I’ll warm them up." He does, and again that warms him up.

  After dinner, he goes out to chop wood for the night. When he returns, he again says,"Honey, my hands are really freezing!"

  She (smiles) and says, "Darn Honey, don’t your EARS ever get cold?"

• First Date

  26 May 2008, by Editor

  There was a young virgin that was going out on a date for the first time and she told her grandmother about it.

  Her grandmother says, "Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try to kiss you; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that."

  She continued, "He is going to try to feel your breast; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that. He is going to try to put his hand between your legs; you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that.

  Then the grandmother said, "But, most importantly, he is going to try to get on top of you and have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don’t let him do that. It will disgrace the family."

  With that bit of advice in mind, the granddaughter went on her date and could not wait to tell her grandmother about it. The next day she told her grandmother that her date went just as the old lady said.

  She said, "Grandmother, I didn’t let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."