Blonde Jokes        RSS 2.0

This section's articles

• A Blonde May be Smarter Than a Lawyer

  14 April 2008, by Editor

  A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

  The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa."

  Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00."

  This catches the blonde’s attention and figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

  The lawyer asks the first question. "What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

  Okay says the lawyer, your turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

  The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he send e-mails to all his friends and co-workers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.00.

  The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.

  The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what’s the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00 and goes back to sleep.

• You’re the Next

  14 April 2008, by Editor

  A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.

  The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.

  The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

  Hysterically the blonde screams back at the husband, "Shut up! You’re the next!"

• The Jigsaw Puzzle

  14 April 2008, by Editor

  A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?"

  "Sure," he replies. "What’s the problem?"

  "Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can’t even find the edge pieces."

  "Look on the box," he said. "There’s always a picture of what the puzzle is."

  "It’s a big rooster," she said.

  The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."

• Blondes Are Not Stupid

  14 April 2008, by Editor

  80,000 blondes are gathered for a Blondes Are Not Stupid convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

  A blonde gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

  The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says, "18!" Obviously, everyone is a little disappointed. Then, 80,000 blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!" The leader says, "Well, since we’ve gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another chance."

  So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she eventually says, "90?" The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected sigh. Everyone is disheartened. The blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls begin to yell and wave their hands shouting, "Give her another chance! Give her another chance!"

  The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than good, eventually says, "OK! OK! Just one more chance. What is 2 plus 2?" The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "4?". Throughout the stadium, pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream ... Give her another chance! Give her another chance!