Blonde Jokes        RSS 2.0

This section's articles

• Swimming

  7 January 2008, by Editor

  Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat field when they saw a blonde in the middle of the field rowing a row boat.

  The driver blonde turned to her friend and said "You know - it’s blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

  To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I’d go out there and drown her."

• wishes

  7 January 2008, by Editor

  Three blondes were walking through the desert when they found a magic genie’s lamp.

  After rubbing the lamp to make the genie appear, he said, "I will grant three wishes, one for each of you."

  The first said, "I wish I were smarter."

  So, she became a redhead.

  The second blonde said, "I wish I were smarter than she is."

  She became a brunette.

  The third blond ordered, "I wish I were smarter than both of them!"

  So, she became a man.

• A Trip to Disney World

  7 January 2008, by Editor

  Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.

  As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying "Disney World Left!"

  After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said "Oh well!" and started driving back home.

• Unlocking the Car

  7 January 2008, by Editor

  Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:

  Blonde One: I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!

  Blonde Two: Well, you’d better hurry up and try harder! it’s starting to rain, and the top is down!

• 300 feet

  7 January 2008, by Editor

  On the first day of training for parachute jumping, a blonde listened intently to the instructor. He told them to start preparing for landing when they are at 300 feet.

  The blonde asked, "How am I supposed to know when I’m at 300 feet?"

  "That’s a good question. When you get to 300 feet, you can recognize the faces of people on the ground."

  After pondering his answer, she asked, "What happens if there’s no one there I know?"

• Tracks

  7 January 2008, by Editor

  Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.

  The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."

  The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."

  The third blonde said, "You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks."

  The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.

• Milk Bath

  7 January 2008, by Editor

  A blonde heard that milk baths would make her beautiful. So she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk.

  When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons so he knocked on her door to clarify the point.

  The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?"

  The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons. I’m going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath."

  The milkman asked, "Do you want it Pasteurized?"

  The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs, I can splash it in my eyes."

• The Corn Field

  7 January 2008, by Editor

  There was a blonde driving down the road listening to the radio. The DJ was telling blonde joke after blonde joke until the blonde was mad enough she turned her radio off.

  A mile down the road, she saw another blonde out in a corn field in a boat rowing.

  The blonde stopped her car jumped out and yelled, "You bimbo, it’s blondes like you that give us all a bad name. If I could swim I’d come out there and give you what’s coming to you!"

• The Pain

  7 January 2008, by Editor

  A young brunette goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

  "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me."

  She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony.

  She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.

  The doctor says, "You’re not really a brunette, are you?"

  She says, "No, I’m really a blonde."

  "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken."