Blonde Jokes        RSS 2.0

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• Blonde Detectives

  21 July 2008, by Editor

  Three blondes were witnesses to a crime, so they went to the police station to identify the suspect. The police chief said he would show them a mug shot of someone for thirty seconds, then ask each one for a description. After showing the photo to the first blonde, he covered it, then asked her how she would recognize the suspect.

  "Easy, " she replied. "He only has one eye."

  The chief was stunned. "He only has one eye because it is a profile shot! Think about it!" He repeated the procedure for the second blonde and again asked how she would recognize him.

  "He only has one ear, " was her answer.

  "What is the matter with you people?!? It is a profile shot! You are seeing him from the side!" He repeated the procedure for the third blonde, then said, "How would you recognize the suspect? Now think before you give me a stupid answer."

  After viewing the photo, she thought for a minute, then said, "He’s wearing contact lenses."

  This took the chief by surprise. He looked real hard at the picture and couldn’t tell if the suspect had contacts or not, so he went into the database and looked at the report. Sure enough, when the mug shot was taken, he was wearing contact lenses! He went back to her and asked, "How could you tell he was wearing contact lenses? Nobody else here in this precinct saw that!"

  "Well, " she said, "he can’t wear regular glasses with only one eye and one ear, now, can he?"

• Kidnap

  21 July 2008, by Editor

  A blonde was having financial troubles so she decided to kidnap a child and demand a ransom.

  She went to a local park, grabbed a little boy, took him behind a tree and wrote this note. "I have kidnapped your child. I am sorry to do this but I need the money. Leave $10,000 in a plain brown bag behind the big oak tree in the park at 7 AM." Signed, "The Blonde".

  She pinned the note inside the little boy’s jacket and told him to go straight home.

  The next morning, she returned to the park to find the $10,000 in a brown bag behind the big oak tree, just as she had instructed.

  Inside the bag was the following note. "Here is your money. I cannot believe that one blonde would do this to another."

• Asking for Direction

  21 July 2008, by Editor

  One day as a blonde was walking along the shore of a huge lake.

  She spotted another blonde on the opposite shore.

  She cupped her hands together and shouted "How do I get to the other side?"

  The other blonde cupped her hands together and shouted "YOU ARE ON THE OTHER SIDE!"

• Plate Number

  21 July 2008, by Editor

  Oscar drove his brand new Mercedes to his favorite sporting goods store. He parked it outside and went in to do a little perusing with Jan, his regular sales woman.

  Jan was a pretty blonde, and as Oscar walked into the store, she happily greeted him. But he requested to look around alone today before he needed her help. She obliged and let him do his thing.

  Five minutes later, Jan came running up to him yelling, "Oscar! Oscar! I just saw someone driving off with your new Mercedes!"

  "Dear God! Did you try to stop him?"

  "No," she said, "I did better than that! I got the license plate number!"