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Engineer vs. Manager
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

You must be an engineer" says the balloonist.

"I am" replies the man. "How did you know."

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."

The man below says "you must be in management."

"I am" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help.  You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."



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Skipped Church Lately?
One day this Preacher decided that he would skip church and go hunting. When in the woods he came upon a bear. He started running, and he ran for a while until all of a sudden he tripped over a tree root. At this moment he was almost face to face with the bear. He dropped to his knees and said, ''Dear Lord, if there is one wish I would want for you to give me it would be to make this bear a Christian.'' And at that instant…the bear halted to a stop and dropped to his knees and said, ''Dear Lord, thank you for the food I am about to receive!''
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