A guy walks into a bar with his pet dog. The bartender says, 'No pets allowed.' The man replied, 'This is a special dog. Turn on the Jets game and you'll see.' The bartender, anxious to see what will happen, turns on the game. The guy says, 'Watch. Whenever the Jets score a field goal, my dog does flips.' The Jets keep scoring field goals and the dog keeps flipping and jumping. 'Wow! That's one helluva dog you got there! What happens when the Jets score a touchdown?' The man replied, 'I don't know. I've only had him for 7 years!'
Signs You've Had Enough of the New Millenium 1) You try to enter your password on the microwave.
2) You now think of three espressos as ''getting wasted.''
3) You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
4) You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
5) You email your son in his room to tell him that dinner is ready, and he emails you back, ''What's for dinner?''
6) Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
7) You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken to your next door neighbor yet this year.
8) You didn't give your wife a Valentine's card this year, but you posted one for your email buddies via a Web page.
9) Your daughter just bought CDs of all the worst records your college roommate used to play.
10) Every commercial on television has a web site address at the bottom of the screen.
11) You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date. And now sells for half the price you paid.
12) The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.
13) Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags our of the backseat of your car.
14) Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have email addresses.
15) You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
16) You refer to your dining room table as "the flat filing cabinet."
17) Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
18) You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.
19) You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.
20) You think a ''half-day'' means leaving at 5 o'clock.
21) You hear most of your jokes via email instead of in person.
Subscribe
It is 100% FREE. Sign up for the FREE Bi-weekly Jokes@JokesLab to recieve jokes and funny pictures in your email!
And to read online archived magazines of Jokes@JokesLab in MEMBERS ONLY AREA!!!
