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Restaurant Jokes



Romantic food
Joe was not a very romantic person, and furthermore he was rather stupid. But he wanted to impress his wife, so he took her out for an anniversary dinner and watched the couples around them, following their leads.





He observed the couple next to him. The man lifted a sugar shaker towards his wife's cup and said, "Sugar, sugar?" Joe thought this was great and continued to listen around the dining room.


Another table over Joe observed the following. A man spooned out some honey out of a bowl for his wife and asked, "Honey, honey?"


Again Joe thought this was good stuff.





Finally, he cut off a piece of his meat, stared longingly into his young wife's eyes and said, "Ham, pig?"

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Huntin' Nerds
A trucker hauling computers and accessories is driving down the highway late one night when he sees a truck stop on the side of the road. So he decides to pull over. On aproaching the door he read s a sign: “NO NERDS.” He shrugs it off and enters. He's greeted by the end of a shotgun barrel in his face. “Are you a nerd?” the bartender asks. “No, I'm a truck driver,” he replies. He's allowed to come in, so he orders a cup of coffee, sits at the bar and drinks it.
While he drinks his coffee, a man walks in wearing his pants up to his chest, a plaid shirt, pocket protector and thick-framed glass. The bartender pulls out his shotgun and blows him away. “What the hell did you do that for!?” asks the trucker. “Well,” the bartender answers, “it's nerd season.” “Nerd season?” asks the trucker, confused. “Yeah. See, the nerd population in this town is getting out of hand, so we've opened up nerd season.” So, with that, he finishes his coffee and goes back on the road.
While he drives the car in front of him suddenly swerves and wrecks. To avoid becoming part the disaster, he swerves to get out of way. The swerve's to hard. His tractor trailer flips and he dumps his load all over the road. He gets out of his truck to see nerds coming from all directions grabbing everything they can. He doesn't know what to do. He's gotta stop this. Remembering what the bartender told him, he goes back to the truck and pulls out his gun and starts picking them off, one by one.
While doing this, a highway patrol officer starts running after him, waving his arms screaming, “STOP!STOP!” “What?” the trucker asks, confused, “I thought it was nerd season.” “Well yeah,” the officer answers, “but you can't bait 'em!”
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