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Redneck Q-Tips
You might be a redneck if you prefer car keys to Q-Tips!

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Death by Viager

Jokes
Star Wars -vs- Star Trek
12. In the Star Wars universe, weapons are rarely, if ever, set on 'stun'.
11.The enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of 20 just to go into warp -- the Millenium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a Wookie.
10. After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess
still looks fresh and desirable -- after pithy Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looks like hell.
9.Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action.
8. Luke Skywalker is not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters.
7. One word: lightsabers!
6.The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named Slave I.
5.The Death Star doesn't care if the Earth is class M or not.
4. Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire with one glance.
3. Picard pilots through the Enterprise through an asteroid belt at one-quarter inpulse power. Han Solo floors it.
2. Aliens have make-up in other places than their foreheads.
1. Death Star vs. Enterprise!
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