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Redneck Jokes



The Texan Student
At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes.

"Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," said the student.

"And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.

"Elation," she said.

"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe?"

The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be 'giddy up' ".


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Mr. or Mrs. Computer

Is your computer male or female? As you are aware, ships havelong been characterized as being female (e.g., "Steady as she goes", or"She's listing to starboard, Captain!"). Recently, a group of computerscientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as beingfemale. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:

1.  No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

2.  The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3.  The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going totell you".

4.  Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

5.  As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were   male.  Their reasonsfollow:

1.  They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

2.  They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.

3.  As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

4.  In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

5.  Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

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