An Irishman, a Italian and a redneck were doing construction work on the scaffolding of a tall building. They were eating lunch. The Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building."
The Italian opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Pasta again! If I get pasta one more time, I’m going to jump off too."
The redneck opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I’m jumping too."
Next day the Irishman opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Italian opens his lunch, sees pasta and jumps too. The redneck opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman’s wife is weeping. She says, "If I’d known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"
The Italian’s wife also weeps and says, "I could have given him linguini or mastacholi! I didn’t realize he hated pasta so much."
Everyone turned and stared at the redneck’s wife. "Hey, don’t look at me," she said. "He makes his own lunch."
Growing Old Three old men were sitting on a porch.
"I wish I could take a healthy piss," said one.
"I wish I could take a healthy crap," said another.
"I can take a crap at 6 AM and a piss at 11 AM. I just wish I could get up before noon."
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