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Redneck Jokes



I Guess That's Fair
Two rednecks meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, "chickens."

"Chickens, eh?" says one guy. "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?"

"Heck," says the guy with the bag, "iffin you guess right, I'll give you both of 'em."

The other scratches his head and guesses, "Um... five?"


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Blind Man and Child

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Hillary Clinton's Crystal Ball

Senator Hillary Clinton snuck off to visit a fortuneteller of some local repute.  In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball, the mystic delivered grave news.

"There's no easy way to say this,so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow.  Your husband will die aviolent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, Hillary stared at thewoman's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself.  She simply had to know.  She met the fortuneteller's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked her question.

"Will I be acquitted?"

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