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How to Urn Bennys
There was a man named Benny who loved to take walks on the beach. One day he found a bottle with a genie in it. He let the genie out.
The genie was so grateful that he granted him one wish with the condition that he never shave again, otherwise he'd turn him into an urn.
Benny got his wish of riches and fame but he kept tripping over his long beard which he hadn't shaved in 30 years. Benny said to himself, “that genie isn't around anymore, I'm shaving.” With that, he went home and shaved. Instantly he went 'POOF' and turned into an urn.
Moral to the story: A Benny shaved is a Benny urn-ed.

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Elementary, My Dear Watson
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

''Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.''

Watson replies, ''I see millions of stars.''

''What does that tell you?''

Watson ponders for a minute. ''Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?''

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. ''Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent.''

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