Forest Gump
A blonde dies and arrives at the Pearly Gates, where she is greeted by St. Peter."Welcome!" he says. "Because we are currently operating at 99% capacity, we can only let a limited number of souls into heaven. Therefore, you must answer my questions correctly to gain entrance." "Okay," says the blonde. "Here's your question: name two days of the week that begin with the letter T." "That's easy. Today and tomorrow!" "Well, that's not the answer I was thinking of, but I'll give you another question. How many seconds are there in a year?" "That's easy. Twelve!" "Twelve?" "January second, February second, March second--" "Okay, okay. I can see you misunderstood this question as well. Okay, one more chance. What's God's name?" "That's easy. Howard!" "Howard?" "You know -- 'Our Father, who art in heaven, Howard be thy name..." | 
