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Mr. or Mrs. Computer

Is your computer male or female? As you are aware, ships havelong been characterized as being female (e.g., "Steady as she goes", or"She's listing to starboard, Captain!"). Recently, a group of computerscientists (all males) announced that computers should also be referred to as beingfemale. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:

1.  No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

2.  The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3.  The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going totell you".

4.  Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.

5.  As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it. However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as if they were   male.  Their reasonsfollow:

1.  They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

2.  They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.

3.  As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

4.  In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

5.  Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.



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A letter to Dr. Ruth

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Four Men and Their Dogs
Four men, an Engineer, an Accountant, a Chemist and a Government Worker were bragging about how smart their dogs were.

To show off, the Engineer called to his dog and said, "T-Square, do your stuff."

T- square trotted over to a desk, took out some paper and a pen and promptly drew a circle, a square and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart. But the Accountant said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Slide Rule, do your stuff."

Slide Rule went out into the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies each. Everyone agreed that was good. But the Chemist said his dog could do better. He called his dog and said, "Measure, do your stuff."

Measure got up, walked over to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop. Everyone agreed that was good. Then the three men turned to the Government Worker and said, "What can your dog do?"

The Government Worker called to his dog and said, "Coffee Break, do your stuff."

Coffee Break jumped to his feet, ate the cookies, drank the milk, dumped on the paper, molested the other three dogs, claimed he injured his back while doing so, filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions, put in for Worker's Compensation and went home on sick leave.

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