I called a company and asked to speak to Bob.  The person whoanswered said, "Bob is on vacation.  Would you like to hold?"

    I worked with an individual who plugged theirpower strip back into itself and for the life of them could not understand why theircomputer would not turn on.

"Do you know anythingabout this fax-machine?"

"A little.  What'swrong?"

"Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient calledback to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page.  I tried it again,and the same thing happened."

"How did you load the sheet?"

"It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it byaccident. So I folded it so only the recipient could open it and read it."

    I recently saw a distraught young lady weepingbeside her car.  "Do you need some help?" I asked.

"I knew I should have replaced the battery in this remote door unlocker.  Now Ican't get into my car. Do you think that store wouldhave a battery for this?"

"Hmmm, I dunno.  Do you have an alarm, too?"I asked. 

"No, just this remote,'"she answered, handing it and thecar keys to me.  As I took the keys and manually unlocked the door, I said"Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries? It's a longwalk."

Tech Support: What does the screensay now?
Caller: It says 'Hit ENTER when ready.'
Tech Support: Well?
Caller: How do I know when it's ready?

    A man moved to New Mexico and called his creditcompany to change his address. When he told the girl where he was moving, she told him that she couldn't help him since they didn't issue cards outside of the United States!

    My friend called his car insurance company totell them to change his address from Texas to Vermont.  The woman who took the callasked where Vermont was.  As he tried to explain, she interrupted and said,"Look, I'm not stupid or anything, but what state is it in?"

Several years ago, we had an intern who was nonetoo swift. One day, he was typing and turned to a secretary.

"I'm almost outof typing paper. What do I do?"

"Just use copier machine paper," shetold him. With that, the intern took his last remaining blank piece of paper, put it onthe photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies

    One of our servers crashed.  I was watchingour new system administrator trying to restore it.  He inserted a CD and needed totype a path name to a directory named "i386." He started to type it and paused,asking me "Where's the key for that line thing?" I asked what he was talking about, and hesaid,"You know,  that one that looks like an upside-down exclamation mark."I replied,"You mean the letter "i"?" and he said,"Yeah, that'sit!"

    I was in a car dealership a while ago when alarge motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need ofrepair and the whole thing generally looked like it had been an extra in"Twister."  I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the cruisecontrol, then went in back to make a sandwich.