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Chemistry Men & Women

Element Name: MAN
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)

Physical properties: Solid at roomtemperature, but gets bent out of shape easily.  Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.Difficult to find a pure sample.  Due to rust, aging samples are unable toconduct electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WOany chance it can get.  Also tends to form strong bonds with itself.  Becomesexplosive when mixed with Kd (Element: Child) for prolonged period of time. Neutralize by dousing with alcohol.

Usage: None known.  Possibly good methanesource. Good samples are able to produce  large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this elementrapidly decomposes and begins to smell.


Element Name: WOMAN
Symbol: WO
Atomic Weight: (don't even go there!)

Physical properties: Generally round in form.  Boils at nothing and may freeze any time.  Melts whenever treated properly.  Very bitter if not used well.

Chemical properties: Very active.  Often unstable. Possesses strong affinity for gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones.  Violent when left alone.  Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food.  Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental.  An extremelygood catalyst for dispersion of wealth.  Probably the most powerful income reducingagent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperiencedhands.



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Mirror, Mirror
In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth -- if you lie, you disappear. One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror. The brunette goes first.

"I think I'm the smartest woman on earth."

"POOF!" She disappears. The redhead goes up to try.p>"I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth."

"POOF!" She disappears. The blonde goes up.

"I think--"

"POOF!"

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