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Haunted Husband
There was once this couple who had been married for a long time, but could never get along very well. Many times, late at night there would be screams and shouts from their house. One day the old man said, “I'm sick and tired of you. When I die, I will come out of my grave to haunt you.”

After this, the old guy started practising black magic. All the dissapeareces of people, cats, dogs, etc. were blamed on him.

At the age of 80 the old guy dies, and his wife puts him in a casket. Later that night, she goes to the bar and parties as if there was no tomorrow. Her neighbour comes up to her and says, “Aren't you scared that the old guy will dig up and haunt you?”

The old lady camly replied, “Eh, let him keep digging. I put the casket the other way around.”


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Threesomes
Advantages: 1. It can get really weird 2. Someone can go for beer without interrupting the proceedings 3. There's always a hand or mouth free when you need one 4. Motel rooms split 3 ways are only $13 5. You get to watch your best friends making love 6. You get to get watched making love 7. Simultaneous enjoying intercourse and oral sex has to be experienced to be believed 8. You get strange looks when you all go out dancing 9. You get really strange looks when you all go out comparison shopping for condoms 10. Enough people to play gin rummy if things don't work out 11. You can safely check yourself for any homosexual tendencies without actually doing anything about it 12. Calling out the wrong name during climax isn't as much of a problem, the "wrong name" is probably the one on your left 13. Three-person showers are fantastic 14. Three-person naked belly laughs are even better 15. Three-person kisses are the best Disadvantages 1. It can get really weird 2. Tougher for three people to decide on pizza toppings 3. Simultaneous orgasms are even trickier to pull off 4. You may harbor paranoid thoughts that while you're in the bathroom, the other two are giggling over the pimple on your butt 5. Trying to find safe places to put your elbows 6. You get to find out what kind of really sick things your friends like 7. Queen-sized beds are suddenly smaller than you remember them 8. Trying to fit 3 names in the little heart when drawing on your notebooks 9. Morning breath multiplied by 3 10. You might discover homosexual tendencies you didn't suspect or want 11. You might discover homosexual tendencies in one of your friends you didn't suspect or want 12. You have the option of wrecking twice the normal number of relationships 13. The odds of boyfriends/spouses walking in on you triple 14. Sorting clothes quickly when the boyfriend/spouse walks in assumes comical proportions 15. Now there's two wet spots to avoid
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