A guy has a bad habit: He loves to hit pedestrians while he drives. So one day he's driving andsees an old lady with a cane and he decides to control his urge to swerve and hit her -- but he can't. Later, he sees a kid skating and can't resist hitting the kid. Finally, he decides he needs help from above so he goes to a church and asks the pastor for help. So after church, the pastor invites him to his house for lunch. They get in the car and start to drive down the street, and just as he starts to tell the pastor about his problem, he sees an old blind man walking down the street. He swerves toward him but misses, and the pastor says, ''Don't worry. I got him with the door!''
Forgetful Minds There were two old people that are married and have been for fifty years. One day they went to a doctor because they recently had been forgeting things and they were afraid that they would leave the stove on. The doctor said, There is no way medically, but you could always write notes to help you remember things. That night, as the wife was getting up, her husband asked what she was doing. She replied, I was just going to make some ice cream. The husband insisted that he would make it. As he was walking into the kitchen, she called out, WITH A CHERRY ON TOP! Okay dear, he replied. And sprinkles too! Okay dear. From the kitchen came sounds of banging pots and pans and nearly twenty minutes later he came back into the room with bacon and eggs. The wife said Where's the toast?
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