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Parachute Crap Shoot
Four people are in an airplane: the president, the smartest man in the world, an old man and a young girl. The plane catches on fire and there are only three parachutes.

The president gets one and says, “My country needs me!” and jumps.

The smartest man in the world grabs one and says, “Well, the world needs me, since I'm so smart,” and jumps.

One parachute left and the old man says, “You take it, my life is almost over anyway.”

The little girl says, “No. We both can jump.”

Confused, the man asks, “How?” The little girl says, “The smartest man in the world took my backpack.”


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An Act of Charity
One Sunday a pastor toldthe congregation that the church needed some extra money and asked the people toprayerfully consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said thatwhoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plateswere passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill inoffering.  He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregationand said he'd like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.

A very quiet, elderly,saintly lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to cometo the front.  Slowly she made her way to the pastor.  He told her how wonderfulit was that she gave so much and in thanksgiving asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."

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