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You're So Ugly
You're so ugly, your mom has to tie a steak around your neck just to get the dog to play with you.

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How to Mess With the IRS

(Internal Revenue Service, an agency of thegovernment to whom Americans pay taxes on their salary.)

--Always put staples in the right hand corner.Go ahead and put a down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from theenvelopes have to take out any staples in the right side.

--Never arrange paperwork in the right order,or even facing the right way.  Put a few upside down and backwards. That way theyhave to remove all your staples rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the leftside).

--Line the bottom of your envelope withElmer's glue and let it dry before you put in your forms, so that the automated openerdoesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.

--If your very unfortunate and have to paytaxes use a two or three party check.

--On top of paying with a three party checkpay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter howsmall an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.

--Write a little letter of appreciation. Anyletter received has to read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on.

--Write your letter on something misshapen andunconventional. Like on the back of a Kroger sack.

--When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope(even if its just a single EZi form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differentlythan regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they takepriority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.

--If you send 2 checks they'll have to stapleyour unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form.

--Always put extra paper clips on your forms.Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.

--Sign your name in ink on every page. Anysignature has to verified and then date stamped.

NOTE: These are just a few of the fun andexciting things you can do with The Man. These methods are only recommended when you owemoney

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