If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced
enough sound energy to heat
one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it)
If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is
produced to create the energy of
an atomic bomb. (Now that's more like it)
A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a
pig)
(How'd they figure this out, and why?)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Still can't get over that pig thing)
(Don't try this at home...maybe at work?)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is
that why Flipper was always smiling?) (And pigs get 30-minute orgasms?
Doesn't seem fair)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmmmmm........)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
people do.
(If you're ambidextrous do you split the difference?)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own
weight and always falls over on
its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of...?)
(Did taxpayers pay for this research??)
Polar bears are left handed.
(Who knew....? Who cares? How'd they find out, ask them?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What can be so tasty on the
bottom of the pond?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping
the length of a football field.
(30 minutes...can you imagine?? And why pigs?)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to
death. (Creepy)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to
its body. The female initiates
sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the....) (Well,
at least pigs get a break there...)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (In my next life I still want to be
a pig...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Oh, geez) (That's almost as bad as
catfish)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like
that.)
Starfish don't have any brains. (I know some people like that too.)
After reading all these, all I can say is............. Lucky
Pigs...
FedEx UPS Merger Did you hear about the FedEx-UPS merger?
The new company's gonna be called FedUp!
Subscribe
It is 100% FREE. Sign up for the FREE Bi-weekly Jokes@JokesLab to recieve jokes and funny pictures in your email!
And to read online archived magazines of Jokes@JokesLab in MEMBERS ONLY AREA!!!
