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Misc. Jokes



Metaphysical Downsizing
One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and -- oh, surprise -- out popped a genie.

The genie asked, as genies will, “What is your first wish?” The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, “I would like to be rich!” So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates.

Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, “My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!” And poof, he was there.

Then the government worker -- or, as I like to call him, civil servant -- decided on his third wish, “I don't want to do any work ever again!” and poof -- ubiquitous ironic twist -- he was back in his office.


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A Dose of HMO's Own Medicine
A doctor, a nurse, and the top executive of an HMO have all died and are in line together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter speaks with them and asks what good each has done in their life.

Doctor: ''I have devoted my life to the sick and needy and have had a part in caring for, and healing thousands of poor people.''

St. Peter: ''That's great. Go ahead in to heaven. And what about you, dear?''

Nurse: ''I've supported the good doctor and his patients my entire life as an adult.''

St. Peter: ''Wonderful. Please proceed in with the doctor. And what about you?''

Health Maintenance Organizaton Director: ''I was the president of a very large HMO and was responsible for the healthcare of millions of people all over the country.''

St. Peter: ''Oh, I see. Please go in...but you can only stay two nights!''

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