12. In the Star Wars universe, weapons are rarely, if ever, set on 'stun'. 11.The enterprise needs a huge engine room with an anti-matter unit and a crew of 20 just to go into warp -- the Millenium Falcon does the same thing with R2-D2 and a Wookie. 10. After resisting the Imperial torture droid and Darth Vader, Princess still looks fresh and desirable -- after pithy Cardassian starvation torture, Picard looks like hell. 9.Jabba the Hutt would eat Harry Mudd for trying to cut in on his action. 8. Luke Skywalker is not obsessed with sleeping with every alien he encounters. 7. One word: lightsabers! 6.The Federation would have to attempt to liberate any ship named Slave I. 5.The Death Star doesn't care if the Earth is class M or not. 4. Darth Vader could choke the entire Borg empire with one glance. 3. Picard pilots through the Enterprise through an asteroid belt at one-quarter inpulse power. Han Solo floors it. 2. Aliens have make-up in other places than their foreheads. 1. Death Star vs. Enterprise!
Gorilla Chase! There was a man that owned a giant gorilla and, all its life, he'd never left it on its own. But eventually he had to go on a business trip and had to leave his gorilla in the care of his next-door neighbor. So he explained to his neighbor that all he had to do was feed his gorilla three bananas a day at three, six and nine o'clock. But he was never ever, ever to touch its fur.
So the next day the man came and gave the gorilla a banana and looked at it for a while thinking, “Why can't I touch its fur?” as their didnt seem to be anything wrong with it. Every day he came in and looked for a little while longer as he still couldnt understand until, about a week later, he'd worked himself into a frenzy and decided that he was going to touch the gorilla. He passed it the banana and very gently brushed the back of his hand against its fur.
Suddenly the gorilla went ape shit and started to jump around, then it turned and began to running towards the man who, in turn, ran through the front door, over the lawn, across the street, into some one else's sports car and drove off. In the rear-veiw mirror, he could see the gorilla in its own sports car, driving right behing him. He drove for two hours until the engine began to splutter and the car just stopped. He jumped out and began to run down the street, over a brick wall, into someone's front garden and up the apple tree.He turned around to find the gorilla right behind him beating its chest.
The man jumped down and ran back in to the street screaming, until it became dark and he thought he'd lost the gorilla. The man ran into an alleyway then, suddenly, he saw a giant shaddow coming down the street ahead. The gorilla! It came to the end of the alley, stood and looked striaght into the bloodshoot eyes of the man and came towards him slowly. This time there was no escape. As the gorilla neared him, the man began to feel faint. The giant beast came face to face with him, raised its mighty hand and said, “Tag! You're it!”
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