* I'll get a world record for this. * Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press. * Let's ask that group of basketball players for directions. * Here's my Kent State student ID. * It's fireproof. * He's probably just hibernating. * What does this button do? * I'm making a citizen's arrest. * So, you're a cannibal. * It's probably just a rash. * Yeah, I made the deciding vote on the jury, so what of it? * The odds of that happening have to be a million to one! * Pull the pin and count to what? * Which wire was I supposed to cut? * I wonder where the mother bear is. * I've seen this done on TV. * These are the good kind of mushrooms. * I'll hold it and you light the fuse. * You look just like Charles Manson. * Rat poison only kills rats. * It can't possibly rain for forty days and nights * Give me liberty or give me death. * It's strong enough for both of us. * This doesn't taste right. * I can make this light before it changes. * Nice doggie. * I can do that with my eyes closed. * I've done this before. * Well, we've made it this far. * That's odd. * I'll just slip into the commuter lane for a second. * OK this is the last time. * Don't be so superstitious.
Boy buying Condoms A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
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