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Misc. Jokes



The Firing Squad
A man was scheduled to go before a firing squad for his crimes. The evening before his execution, he was asked what he wanted for his last meal. He refused the meal completely. The next morning the man was brought before the firing squad. When asked for his last request, the man said he had none. The General in charge of his execution asked him, ''Sir, you refused your last meal and your last request. Isn't there anything you want before you die?''

The man thought for a moment, then said, ''Music has always been an important part of my life. If I could do but one thing before I die, would you allow me to sing my favorite song from beginning to end, without interruption?''

The General thought this was a reasonable request, and ordered his men to lower their weapons and to not interrupt for the duration of the song.

''Ten million bottles of beer on the wall...''


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Valentine's Day Card Shopping
A man went to the mall this last week to buy Valentines' cards for his daughter and mother.

The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of cards astounded him.

He muttered out loud, "I wonder if they have anything for ex-wives?"

The clerk behind the counter said, "Oh, yes sir, they do have an 'ex' category, but they're in Sporting Goods."

; "Really?"

; "Yes sir. They'recalled darts."

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