9) Say “Hold on,” then scream to a nonexistent person: “If you try to take the knife out, it'll just hurt worse!”
8) Burst into tears when money is mentioned.
7) Ask if the deal is good for all your personalities.
6) Tell them you'll accept their offer if they can guess your color of underwear.
5) Repeat everything they say in the form of a question. 4) As soon as they identify themselves, say, “You guys are still in business? Well, I guess the bomb has another 30 seconds.”
3) Tell them the restraining order applies to phone calls as well as physical distance.
2) Mutter: “Aww, damn. Not another one. The last Jehovah's Witness almost got me the death penalty.”
The O.J. Murder Trial by Dr.Seuss I did not kill my lovely wife. I did not slash her with a knife. I did not bonk her on the head. I did not know that she was dead. I stayed at home that fateful night. I took a cab, then took a flight. The bag I had was just for me. My bag! My bag! Hey, leave it be. When I came home I had a gash. My hand was cut from broken glass. I cut my hand on broken glass. A broken glass did cause that gash. I have nothing, nothing to hide. My friend, he took me for a ride. Did you take this person's life? Did you do it with a knife? I did not do it with a knife. I did not, could not kill my wife. I did not do this awful crime. I could not, would not anytime. Did you hit her from above? Did you drop this bloody glove? I did not hit her from above. I cannot even wear that glove. I did not do it with a knife. I did not, could not kill my wife. I did not do this awful crime. I could not, would not, not anytime. And now I'm free, I can return To my house for which I yearn. And to my family whom I love. Hey now I'm free -- Give back my glove!!
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