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Misc. Jokes



Airline A-Hole

    During a busy Pre-Christmas day atSydney airport, a crowded flight was cancelled. A single agent was re-booking a long lineof inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly, an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. Heslapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on this flight and ithas to be FIRST CLASS."

    The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir.I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these folks first, and I'm surewe'll be able to work something out."

    The passenger was unimpressed. HeSCREAMED, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have ANY idea who Iam?" Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled and grabbed her public addressmicrophone.

    "May I have your attentionplease?" she began, her voice bellowing throughout the terminal. We have a passengerhere at the gate WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity,please come to gate 17." With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, theman glared at the airline agent, gritted his teeth and swore "Screw you."

    Without flinching, she smiled andreplied, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to stand in line for that, too."



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  10. Your car horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
  11. Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache.
  12. Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
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  14. You wake up and your braces are locked together.
  15. You walk to work and find your dress is stuck in the back of your pantyhose.
  16. Your blind date turns out to be your ex.
  17. Your paycheck bounces.
  18. You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
  19. Your pet rock snaps at you.
  20. Your wife says, ''Good morning, Bill'' and your name is George.
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