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The Tradition of the Christmas Angel
One particular Christmas season, long ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip ... but everything seemed to be going wrong. Four of his elves got sick and had to be replace with trainee elves, which slowed down the production line -- so Santa was beginning to feel pressured and behind schedule early on. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mother was coming to spend the holidays with them again, and that stressed out Santa even more.
It only got worse when he began to prepare for his trip. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that one of them was about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out heaven knows where, which meant that more elves had to be pulled off the toy line to go find them. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards came loose and the toy bag fell to the ground, scattering toys everywhere. He picked them up and then spent ten minutes looking around the shop for the right size nail for the damn board, and of course he whacked himself on the thumb while pounding it into the board.
Deeply frustrated at this point, Santa figured he'd better have a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey before heading out. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had drank all the liquor, whihc made Santa so angry that he slammed the coffee pot down on the table -- and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mhis mother-in-law had taken it somehwere.
Just then the doorbell rang, and Santa went to answer it, cursing yet another interruption. He opened the door and there was a little angel with golden ringlets and a sparkly robe carrying a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, “Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?” Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

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Bush's Advisors
G. W. Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid. So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says, "Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you."

She conference calls Tony Blair in and asks, "Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

Tony Blair replies, "It's me!" and hangs up.

G.W. Bush then calls Dick Cheney and says, "Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

And Cheney says, "Wow, that's a tough one. Let me get back to you."

So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, "Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?"

And Colin Powell says, "It's me!"

So Cheney calls Bush and says, "It's Colin Powell."

And Bush says, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

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