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Mad Dog
What do you call a dog that hears voices?

A Shih-Tzu-Phrenic!

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I Am Chasing the Girl

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Golfing Buddies
There was an old man named Bill and one of the things he most enjoyed was playing golf with his old buddy Fred. His wife always commented on how happy he looked after a game. But one day he came home from their weekly game looking unhappy and very tired. His wife asked, "What's the matter Bill? You always seem so happy after golf and you look miserable."

Bill said, "Well, something terrible did happen. Fred had a heart attack on the first hole."

"My God, honey!" said the wife, rushing to comfort him, "that must've been terrible!"

"It was," he said, "all day long it was: hit the ball, drag Fred to the ball and then hit it again..."

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