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Medical Jokes

The Hospital Visit

Once upon a time, two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were getting to know each other a little bit, Sammy eventually asked Tim, “Hey Tim, what're you in for?”

“I'm getting my tonsils out -- I'm a little worried,” said Tim.

“Oh don't worry about it. I had my tonsils out and it was a blast! I got to eat all the ice cream and jello I wanted for two weeks!”

“Oh yeah?'' replied Tim. “That's not half-bad. Hey, Sammy, how about you? What're you here for?”

“I'm getting a circumcision, whatever that is,” Sammy answered.

“Oh my god, circumcision? I got one of those when I was a baby and I couldn't walk for two years!”

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Jokes

Penis Demands a Raise
I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons: * I do physical labor * I work at great depths * I work head first * I do not get weekends off or public holidays * I work in a damp environment * I don't get paid overtime or shift penalties * I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation * I work in high temperatures * My work exposes me to contagious diseases Response from the administration: After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons: * You do not work 8 hours straight * You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods *You do not always follow the orders of the management team * You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas * You take a lot of non-roistered breaks * You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working * You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift * You don't always observe H&S measures, such as wearing the correct protective gear * You don't wait till pension age before retiring * You don't like working double shifts * You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work * And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the work place carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

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