In a murder trial, thedefense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:
Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: Did you check for breathing?
Coroner: No.
Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?
Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.
God and Eve After three weeks in the garden, God came to visit Eve. "How's things,
Eve?" He asked.
"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied. "The sunrises and sunsets are
breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful but I just
have this one problem. It's these three breasts you've given me. The
middle one pushes the other two out, and I am constantly knocking them with
my arms, catching them on branches, snagging them on bushes, they're a real
pain," reported Eve.
"That's a fair point," replied God, "but it was my first shot at this,
you know. I gave the animals what, six? So I just figured you'd need half,
but I see that you are right. I'll fix that up right away!"
So God reaches down and rips the middle breast right off, tossing it into
the bushes. Three weeks passed, and God once again visited Eve in the
garden.
"Well, Eve, how's my favorite creation?" He asked.
"Just fantastic," she replied, "but for one small oversight on your part.
You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has her ram,
the cow has her bull, all the animals have a mate, except me. I feel so
alone."
God thought for a moment. "You know, Eve, you're right. How could I have
overlooked this! You do need a mate and I will immediately create Man from
a part of you! Now, let's see ... where did I leave that useless tit?".
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