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The Heart Of The Matter
A man who was having heart trouble went to the doctor to see what his options were. Naturally, the doctor recommended a heart transplant. The man reluctantly agreed, and asked if there were any hearts immediately available, considering that money was no object.
"I do have three hearts," said the doctor. "The first is from an 18-year old kid, non-smoker, athletic, swimmer, with a great diet. He hit his head on the swimming pool and died. It's $100,000. The second is from a marathon runner, 25 years old, great condition, very strong. He got hit by a bus. It's $150,000. The third is from a heavy drinker, cigar smoker, steak lover. It's $500,000."
"Hey, why is that heart so expensive? He lived a terrible life!"
"Yes, but it's from a laywer. It's never been used."

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United We Sleep

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Spell L-O-V-E
A man came in to heaven and God wanted to go on a vacation so he asked the man to take over while he was away. God told the man to give everyone a test before letting them into heaven. God leaves and a man comes floating up and says, ''Please let me in to heaven.''

The other man says, ''I have to give you a test first.''

The man coming into heaven says, ''Oh jeez I'm not too good at tests!''

The other man says, ''Spell LOVE'' The man spells it, and he is let into heaven.

Then a woman comes floating up and says, ''Please let me into heaven,'' and the man replies, ''Only if you pass this test.''

The woman says, ''Oh no, I'm not very good at tests.''

The man says, ''Your test is to spell LOVE.''

She spells it correctly, and is let into heaven.

The next person that comes floating up is the man's wife. She says, ''OK honey, let me in to heaven.''

The man says, ''I have to give everyone a test before I let them in to heaven.''

She says, ''OK, make it an easy one!!!''

Then the man says, ''Spell Hemorrhoid.''

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