A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!"
Later, the lion confronts an ox and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?" The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!"
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?" Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it had been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away. The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant - Just because you dont know the answer, you dont have to get so upset about it!
The Teacher, the Thief & the Lawyer A teacher, a thief and a lawyer all die in the same freak accident. So when they reach the pearly gates, St. Peter tells them that, unfortunately, heaven is overcrowded, so they each have to answer a question correctly for admission.
The teacher is first, and St. Peter asks, “Name the famous ship that was sunk by an iceberg?” “Phew, that one's easy,” says the teacher, “The Titanic.” “ Alright,” said St.Peter, “you may pass.”
Then the thief got his question: “How many died on the Titanic?” The thief replied, “That's a toughy, but fortunately I just saw the movie. The answer is 1500 people.” And so he passed through. Last, St. Peter gave the lawyer his question: “Name them.”
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