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Rocket Science
Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity.

The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshield of their new high speed trains.   Arrangements were made.  But when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin.

Horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions.

NASA's response was just three words, "Thaw the chicken."


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Intelligent Life?
Aliens from Somewhere-Out-There just landed on Earth. The Captain and First Mate step out and says: "Creatures of the third planet... erm, we have come from Somewhere-Out-There, and we wish to talk to your leader." No one moves or makes a sound. The First Mate says: "Perhaps they are afraid of us."
The Captain nods and says again in a friendlier voice: "Please, we mean no harm, just let us speak to your leader." Nothing happens. "We mean no harm, we have come in peace." Again nothing happens.
Growing impatient the First Mate says: 'If you will not take us to your leader, we will have to take one of you on board our ship for examination!' When no one makes a move, the Captain pulls out a big laser gun and shouts: "OK, THAT'S IT, FIRST MATE, TAKE THE ONE ON THE END! CUT HIM AWAY FROM THE EARTH HE LOVES SO MUCH!"
Some blocks away, two police men sit in their car when they see the light from the laser. "Omigod! Did you see that," the first policeman says to the other. They drive to where they saw the light and stop, scratching their heads. "Looks like it's been cut off neatly," the first one says. "Yeah, but why? They'd only get a few dimes out of it." They look around the spot in wonder. And the second says: "Why would anybody want to steal a parking meter?"
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