The taco Bell chihuahua dog, a doberman, and a bulldog all walk into a bar. A female collie then walks in. The collie says, ''Whoever can say liver and cheese the most creativly, can have me. So the bulldog goes ''I love liver and cheese'' The collie says ''Not good enough'' The doberman says ''I hate liver and cheese'' The collie goes, ''Not creative enough'' Then the chihuahua dog says, ''Liver alone, cheese mine.''
Stranded on a Desert Island... A rather inhibited engineer finallysplurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the “craziest” thing he had ever donein his life. Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the hugeship, capsizing it like a child's toy. Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on to alife preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island.
Outside of beautiful scenery, aspring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts, there was little else. He lost all hope and forhours on end and sat under the same palm tree. One day, after several months had passed, agorgeous woman in a small rowboat appeared.
“I'm from the other side of the island,” she said. “Were you on the cruise ship, too?”
“Yes, I was,” he answered. “But where did you get that rowboat?”
“Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced gunnel from palm branches, and made the keel and stern from a Eucalyptus tree.”
“But, what did you use for tools?” asked the man, amazed.
“There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south side of the island. I discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. Anyhow, that'show I got the tools. But, enough of that,” she said. “Where have you been living all thistime? I don't see any shelter.”
“To be honest, I've just been sleepingon the beach,” he said.
“Would you like to come to my place?”the woman asked. The engineer nodded dumbly. She expertly rowed them around to her side ofthe island, and tied up the boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp topped with aneat back splice. They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid and around a Palm tree.There stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
“It's not much, but I call it home.”Inside, she said, “Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?”
“No, thanks,” said the man. “One morecoconut juice and I'll throw up!”
“It won't be coconut juice,” the womanreplied. “I have a crude still out back, so we can have authentic Pina Coladas.”
Trying to hide his amazement, the manaccepted the drink, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchangedstories, the woman asked, “Tell me, have you always had a beard?”
“No,” the man replied, “I was cleanshaven all of my life until I ended up on this island.”
“Well if you'd like to shave, there's arazor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet.”
The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the bathroom and shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor sharp. Next he showered -- not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how she managed to get warm water into the bathroom -- and went back downstairs. He couldn't help but admire the masterfully carved banister as he walked.
“You look great,” said the woman. “I think I'll go up and slip into something more comfortable.”
As she did, the man continued to sip his Pina Colada. After a short time, the woman, smelling faintly of gardenias, returned wearing a revealing gown fashioned out of pounded palm fronds.
“Tell me,” she asked, “We've both been out here for a very long time with no companionship. You know what I mean. Haven't you been lonely, too... isn't there something that you really, really miss? Something that all men and woman need? Something that would be really nice to have right now...?”
“Yes there is,” the man replied, shucking off his shyness. “There is something I've wanted to do for so long. But on this island all alone, it was just... well, it was impossible.”
“Well, it's not impossible, anymore,” the woman said.
The man, practically panting in excitement, said breathlessly: “You mean... you actually figured out some way we can CHECK OUR EMAIL HERE?!”
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